I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
