I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
