It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
