so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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