Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
