Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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