I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
