We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
