Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
