SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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