Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you had me at cake vodka
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
