Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
