Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
