she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
