Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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