I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
