Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?

(941): View more from Florida

better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.

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(251): View more from Alabama

dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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(636): View more from Missouri

Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.

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