Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
