He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Terrible idea I love it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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