I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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