I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
