ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
