i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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