Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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