were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
