even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
