Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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