They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
