I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
