are you still at the devil's house?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
