What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
