Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
