5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
