last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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