I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
