so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
