So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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