he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
