yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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