Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
