I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
