belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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