you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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