I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
how drunk are you?
Several
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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