her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
