CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
