my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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