I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
