I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
