That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
