we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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